Anger in no order; anger in recovery

Honoring Anger Across a Spectrum

When we put down substances and process addictions, we may find ourselves feeling worse than before. The false sense of stability that addiction provided is gone. We are left with a nervous system that is raw, erratic, amazingly ‘over’ sensitive— or collapsed into numbness, shame, and depression. (Or oscilitating rapidly between the two: oh the joys of healing!).

This is not a failure. This is your body remembering how to feel. It is our invitation back to life. And this is us, clumsily and sometimes achingly slowly, learning to feel and be alive in ways that actively nourish peace in our bodies and minds (and world).

We find ourselves exposed to the underlying dysregulated state that addiction covered and buffered us from. Sometime we can get blindsided by anger or rage that erupts from a micro incident ( such as a pedestrian walking “too slowly”, a look of perceived indifference) : or similarly by anger that doesn’t arise when we are violated (overt manipulation, boundary violation or violence) and we actually need our anger to protect ourselves.

Anger can arise in full force when we feel ‘it shouldn’t’ appear; and be vague, utterly absent, or turned against ourselves instead of the threat when it ‘should’ appear.

Be kind with your nervous system. Please do not judge yourself for how and what you have survived. Do not judge yourself for how you have endured.

Both the rage that flares too easily
and the silence where anger should be
are signs of a system stretched beyond its limits.
We do not need to pathologise, judge, condemn; or shrink in shame.

These states are universally found in humans who’s window of tolerence have been surpassed. You are not bad. You are not unique. There is nothing to be ashamed of. These states are simply classic symptoms of dysregulation and a clear call to healing.

And we can! We can heal and restore our nervous system motility. We can reground ourselves in a body, mind and nervous system that has the capacity to see and be with our experience and others in connection, presence and safety. We have the capacity to live a life connected to resources -both internal and external: and in challenge and adversity actively seek regulation in ways that create more resiliance ( active recovery) rather than deminshing it (as we did in addiction).

Anger in Recovery: A Gentle Path

Anger in Recovery

For those healing from trauma and addiction,
anger can feel like a storm—
sometimes raging, sometimes a quiet background hum of irritation,
sometimes a silent resentment charged with electricity.

It may flare over small, even embarrassing, petty things.
It may vanish when you need it most.
It may feel disproportionate—
a 10/10 reaction to a 1/10 event.

Your bodymind holds painful and overwhelming memories that pour out when triggered by daily moments.
Of course this is overwhelming.

Your nervous system is not broken. You are not broken.
You have learned. You have adapted. You have survived.

Your autonomic nervous system has been pushed to its limits by the life you have lived and survived.

This is not an individual failing. Its a systemic failure: an absence of conditions we need to grow as regulated, present human beings.


In recovery, there is a saying:
“If it is hysterical, it is historical.”

The anger you feel now may be anger from the past—
pushed down, drowned out, escaped through addiction.
Now that you are sober, it is raw. Alive. Almost too much so.

It is ready to show itself eagerly at the most inconvenient moments.

It is ready to scream loud and scare new and old friends alike to try and get you to hear it.

It is willing to play itself in a loop again and again and again for you on instant playback.

This can be demoralising, excrutiatingly painful, disorganising and destabilising both intra and interpersonally. It can damage and destroy relationships that we value. It can erode any sense of wellbeing. It can create deep sense of shame and hopelessness as we once again find ourselves choicelessly caught in its grip, acting counter to who and how we want to be.

How do we turn the volume down?
How do we take it in manageable pieces?

How do we experience it in a way that does not damage us and our relationships?

How do we live as emotional beings in a way that honors our core sense of self and values?

Tending to Your Anger

When the Fire Rises

  • Pause.
  • Protect. Step away from harm. (And step away from the possibility to do harm to yourself or others)
  • Softly approach the storm. Trauma and addiction recovery can find us swinging between the fire of built up pain and numbness. Healing comes when we:
    • Move gently between memory and present moment safety.
    • Process one breath, one feeling at a time.
    • Take it in bite size pieces
    • Slow things down
    • Practice self compassion
    • Turn the volume down on our emotions so that we can hear and be with them rather than get flooded and retraumatised
    • Let safe hands—your sponsor, your therapist, your trusted friend—help steady you.

Holding ourselves

  • Name it. There is anger, I see you. There is hurt and fear of abandonment. I see you too.
  • Hold. “I see you. I am here. You are not alone.”
  • Reassure. “We are safe now. I will not leave you. I will help you with your big feelings”
  • Choose. Do I speak my truth? Do I set a boundary? Or do I simply hold myself with care?

Place your hand on your heart.
Breathe.
Whisper:

“I see how much this hurts. I am here. You are loved.”



The Way Forward

Begin where you are.
If the fire feels too fierce, too much alone
tend to the whispers first, and do it in company.
Build your strength, one breath at a time.

When lost, return to the light within you

and the way that has been forged by those who have walked it before you and created a path

that you walk side by side in fellowship with others.

There is no wrong anger.
Only anger waiting to be met,
understood,
and gently walked back to safety and connection.

Learning to listen

Our nervous system doesn’t always distinguish between a life-threatening violation and a wound to our ego or attachment needs; nor a threat in the present or a triggered past memory. Yet in healing we can learn to recognize the difference—while honoring that regardless of whether the threat is real in real life, the threat is real to our ANS right now and deserves our compassionate and a skilled, healing, restorative attention.

The crucial distinction: A safety threat requires external action (boundaries, legal recourse, protection). The second is a shame threat that might evoke previous safety/shame threats and requires internal reassurance and parts work. A threat in the moment requires response often externally as well as internally. A flashback requires orientation to resources (inner and outer) in the present moment: a felt sense of being restored to the present, safe from the grips of the past (and traumatic replay). Yet both real and imagined (ore replayed) threat can feel equally overwhelming in the moment because our nervous system responds to perceived threat, not just actual threat.

Why Both Deserve Honor

If your ANS is threatened by someone not texting back!, that threat is can be lived as real and as full on as any other threat that might pose more REAL risk to your survival. People may be fine cliff jumping but go to pieces when their partner doesn’t text back. It is about what we individually register as threat, and how our ANS responds to it. And this is dictated by many factors, including our past.

Perhaps as a child, certainly an infant, being ignored meant abandonment. Perhaps that happened alot and you have a lot of that stored in your system, waiting for healing eyes and a healing heart to hold it. In our genetic memory we also hold that exclusion from the tribe equated to possible death when modern life was not there to defend us from our mammilian vulnerability in the way it might now. That part is still carrying that old pain, and its anger is a desperate attempt to prevent that wound from getting prodded and reopening.

It is the degree of dysregulation in our ANS that dictates our level of suffering, not the size of the incident itself.

If you’ve experienced sexual violence for instance, your anger is a sacred guardian. It is a physiological response to violation and danger that attelpts to restablish emotional and physical safety. This anger may be accompanied by collapse—freeze, shame, dissociation, immobilsation …your system’s way of saying, “This was too much. I need to go offline to survive.”

Both forms of anger are valid signals from a system that need your attention. The work is not to judge ‘valid’ anger as more legitimate or “worthier” of your care, but to meet each state as and when it is triggered where it is and respond with wisdom, integrity and compassion. In the past we responded with using substances and processes to ‘regulate’ this dysregulation. now we must respond with connection and presence, and foster this as one of the most essential practices of our lives in recovery.

Healing the Anger

For Safety-Level Threats (Trauma)

When anger arises from violation or abuse:

  1. Acknowledge the magnitude – “What happened to me was wrong. My anger makes sense.”
  2. Create external safety – Ensure you are physically safe. This might mean legal action, relocation, therapy, or removing yourself from harmful situations.
  3. Work with the collapse – Trauma often leaves us oscillating between anger (sympathetic) and shutdown (dorsal vagal). Healing requires:
    • Pendulation: Gently moving between the trauma memory and a place of safety (Somatic Experiencing)
    • Titration: Processing the trauma in small, manageable pieces
    • Co-regulation: Being with a safe, attuned person who can help your nervous system recalibrate
    • Corrective experiences : Experiences of safety, respect, compassion and safety
  4. Honor the protector – Thank the part that holds this anger for trying to keep you safe. Ask it: “What do you need me to know? What do you need from me now?”
  5. Unburden the exile – The parts that carry the actual trauma memories (often in shame, terror, or collapse) need to be witnessed and freed from their extreme roles (IFS)

For Shame-Level Threats (Attachment Wounds)

When anger arises from a perceived slight or rejection:

  1. Name the part – “This is my Inner Child who feels invisible.” or “This is my Abandoned One who needs reassurance.”
  2. Separate past from present – Ask: “Is this person actually abandoning me, or does this remind me of someone or soemthing from my past?How old do I feel in this right now?”
  3. Meet the need internally – The part needs to know: “I see you. I accept you. You belong. You matter. I’m not going anywhere. I will help you with your big painful feelings” (This is where self-compassion practices are powerful)
  4. Reassure the nervous system – “We are safe. I am here now.”
  5. Choose response over reaction – Once the part feels heard, you can decide: Do I need to set a boundary? Express my need? Or simply soothe myself?
  6. Place your hand on your heart and say to the younger part: “I see how much this hurts. I’m right here. You are loved, just as you are.”

Healing the Collapse

Both levels of anger can lead to nervous system collapse—that feeling of shutdown, numbness, or exhaustion that follows when sympaethtic activation (fight/flight) does not ‘work’ (ie get us out of physical and or psychological danger).

Signs of collapse after anger:

  • Feeling exhausted or numb
  • Dissociating or spacing out
  • Feeling hopeless or helpless
  • Feeling intense shame, worthlessness
  • Physical heaviness or sluggishness

How to heal collapse:

  1. Recognize it as a protective response – Collapse is not weakness; it’s your system’s way of conserving energy when the threat feels too big and protecting us (dissociation is a protective survival response).
  2. Create safety in the present – Wrap yourself in a blanket, drink warm tea, lie down. Signal to your body: “We are safe now.”
  3. Orient to the present – Name 3 things you see, 2 things you hear, 1 thing you feel. This helps your nervous system know you’re not in the past traulatic event.
  4. Reconnect with your body – Gentle movement (yoga, stretching), humming, or singing can help bring you back into your body.
  5. Ask for support – Collapse often is accompanied by shame and exhaustion/intense sadness and makes us want to isolate. Instead, reach out to someone safe. Even saying, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and need to be quiet together” can help.

When you feel collapse coming, say: “This is my system’s way of taking care of me. I honor this need for safety. I will orient myself gently towards safety the best that I can in this compromised state.”

When you develop a secure internal relationship with your parts—when you consistently show up for the younger parts that feel shame, abandonment, or low self-worth—you build internal safety. This internal safety becomes the foundation for processing deeper traumas.

Conversely, healing trauma often reveals attachment wounds that were previously hidden beneath the weight of the bigger violation. Once you feel safe in your body, you may start to notice the smaller, everyday triggers that still need your attention.

The path forward:

  • Start where your system is ready. Build your capacity.
  • Use the 8 Cs as your anchor. When in doubt, return to Self: calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, courage, confidence, creativity, connectedness.
  • Remember: All parts are welcome. There is no “wrong” anger. There is only anger that needs to be met, understood, and transformed.


Anger as a Guide, Not a Master

The great paradox of anger is that it contains both destruction and creation. It can burn bridges or light the way. It can isolate us or connect us more deeply to ourselves and others.

When we approach anger with curiosity instead of fear, with compassion instead of judgment, we discover that it is not our enemy—it is our ally. It points to what we care about, what we value, what we will not tolerate. It points to what needs healing. It invites to deepen and flex our muscles of presence and compassion!

The Alchemy of Anger: Emotion as Wisdom

Anger arrives—loud, insistent, visceral, often overwhelming. In many cultures, we’re taught to fear it, suppress it, sexualize it, or transmute it into more “acceptable” emotions like sadness. We’re rarely taught how to let anger sequence into a regulating response: a healthy action that protects self and other, aligns with our values, and honors how we wish to show up in the world.

My relationship with anger is an area of ongoing learning. I seek to deepen my understanding to better support my own system, the people I work with, and my capacity to respond creatively to this beautiful, complex world—without getting stuck in reactivity.

When we learn to listen to anger rather than be consumed by it, to respond to it rather than act from it, and to hold it with wisdom rather than fear, we unlock a powerful force for personal transformation and social change.

Below, we explore anger through multiple lenses—sometimes overlapping, sometimes divergent—so you can find the frames that resonate most with your own journey. The goal? To see anger as a universal physiological and emotional response, and to learn how to be with it for the well-being of ourselves and the collective.


The IFS Perspective: Anger as Protector

Internal Family Systems offers a way to understand our anger: it is not your core self that is angry—it is a part of you that is angry. This frame helps us un-blend with – step out of – the part/experience – in order to understand and see it more accurately; be with it compassionately and extend soothing regulation to it. This angry part in IFS terms is a ‘protector’, rising up when it perceives threats, injustice, or boundary violations in your internal system, protecting more vulnerable parts of us.

The purpose of anger, in IFS terms, is clear and direct: to make something (perceived or real) inappropriate or unjust stop. It’s a protective energy that says, “This should not be happening.” When we can approach our anger with curiosity rather than judgment, we ask the transformative question: “Who is angry, and why?”

This shifts us from shame (“I shouldn’t feel this way”) to compassionate and a life affirming investigation. The Self—the core of who we are—embodies what IFS calls the 8 Cs: calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, courage, confidence, creativity, and connectedness. When we lead from Self in relationship to our anger, our anger becomes Self-led anger: clear, grounded, proportional, and free from hatred, blame, or impulsivity. It expresses concern without causing harm.

When we feel anger rising, we can pause and ask, “Which part of me is feeling this? What/who is it trying to protect? How does it want to go about this? “

Emotional and Bodily Differences: Self-Led vs. Protective Anger

Self-led anger (firmness)Reactive/protective anger
Proportionate to the situationOften disproportionate — old material added
Stays curious about the other person’s partsFixed narrative about the other person
No urge to punish, only to protect/set a boundaryWants the other to suffer or submit
Can soften instantly if the threat resolvesLingers, ruminates, replays
Body: grounded heat, expandedBody: constricted, adrenalized, brittle
Other C’s still present alongside it (clarity, compassion)Other C’s noticeably absent

Compassion-Focused Therapy: Anger Through the Lens of Self-Kindness

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, understands anger through the framework of our three affect systems: the threat system (which activates anger), the drive system (which motivates action), and the soothing system (which calms and regulates).

CFT teaches that anger often arises when our threat system perceives injustice, disrespect, or violation of our values. However, rather than acting from this activated state, CFT helps us cultivate our soothing system—the part of us capable of compassion, kindness, and wisdom.

Key CFT insights on anger:

  • Anger is often a secondary emotion, masking deeper feelings of fear, sadness, or shame
  • Self-criticism fuels reactive anger—when we judge ourselves for feeling angry, we create more internal threat (and therefore further activate our threat system and up the anger)
  • Compassion is the antidote—not by suppressing anger, but by holding it with kindness and understanding
  • The compassionate self can acknowledge the validity of anger whilst choosing wise action

CFT practices for working with anger include:

  • Soothing rhythm breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system
  • Compassionate imagery—imagining a wise, compassionate figure who understands your anger
  • Self-compassion breaks—pausing to acknowledge: “This is a moment of anger. Anger is a part of being human. May I be kind to myself in this moment.”

The goal is not to eliminate anger, but to develop a compassionate mind that can hold anger without being overwhelmed by it, and respond from wisdom rather than reactivity.

When anger arises, place your hand over your heart and say: “Anger is here. This anger is my activated threat system. It is part of the physiology of being human! I am allowed to feel this. May I respond to my anger with wisdom, love and care.”

NVC: The Unmet Need Beneath the Flame

Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication teaches that anger is the alarm bell of unmet needs. It’s not the need itself, but the urgent signal that something we value—safety, respect, autonomy, connection—is being threatened or denied.

NVC offers a four-step process to transform anger:

  1. Pause – Separate stimulus from response
  2. Identify – What am I feeling? (Anger, yes, but what’s beneath it? Hurt? Fear?)
  3. Connect – What need of mine is not being met? (Respect? Understanding? Fairness?)
  4. Request – What would make life more wonderful?

The key insight: Our anger is never about the other person’s actions alone—it’s about our unmet needs in relation to those actions. When we can say, “I feel angry because I need respect, and I’m not experiencing it,” we transform a blame-filled outburst into a vulnerable, connectable expression.

Try this: Write down your anger, then underneath, complete this: “I feel angry because I need ____, and I’m not getting it.”

For a link to NVC needs please click here.


Thich Nhat Hanh: Mindful Embrace

The beloved Zen master teaches that anger is like a storm—if we try to suppress it, it will only grow stronger. Instead, we must acknowledge it with mindfulness and tenderness: “Hello, anger. I know you are there.”

Thich Nhat Hanh’s approach has three steps:

  • Recognize – “Breathing in, I know that anger is in me”

“Breathing in, I know that anger is in me.”
Anger is not an enemy. It is not something to be banished. It is a part of us that needs and deserves our attention and love. The first step is to notice it without resistance. Where do you feel it in your body? A tightness in the chest? Heat in the face? A clenching in the jaw? Name it: “Anger is here.”

  • Accept – “Breathing out, I smile to my anger” ( Thay frequently talks of smiling to our anger as if it is our child or baby that needs our care).

“Breathing out, I smile to my anger.”
This is an act that can create healing not just in us, but that filters out to our world: smiling at your anger as you would at a crying child. Thay (as his students called him) often spoke of cradling our anger like a baby. It needs care, not judgement, rejection or punishment. It needs us to be with rather than become it… just as a raging child needs our containment, compassion and guidance rather than for us to dissolve into rage with it. Soften your face. Breathe out and offer a gentle, internal smile to the anger. Say: “I see you. I accept you. You matter to me in this moment, in this feeling

  • Embrace – “I will take good care of you”

“I will take good care of you.”
Hold your anger with the same love you would offer to a newborn. Don’t act from the anger, but don’t reject it either. Be with it. Place a hand on your belly and breathe deeply.

“I am aware of my anger. I will not act from it, but I will not abandon it either. I will hold this feeling with the love I would give a child. I will be with myself continually and unconditionally. I will offer myself kindness as the anger moves through me.”

When we practice mindful breathing while holding our anger, we create space around it, and we create healing and soothing for it. We can practice watering seeds of compassion in response to our anger, rather than adding logs to the flame of rage. We realize we are bigger than our anger, and that we can hold our anger with our breath and loving presence.

Thay is known to say “When you understand, you cannot help but love.” This includes understanding and loving the parts of ourselves that feel anger -being willing to be with them for the time they need and in the way they need to help them feel loved and understood and soothed, just as we would a crying infant. When we can be with ourselves in this way we can also extend healing and soothing loving presence to those in our lives when they are overcome by anger rather than taking it personally.

You can also try being with people who’s seeds of anger are activated from this loving place of wholeness. We can practice breathing and being with them in a way that is open minded, compassionate and generous. We can see their suffering in their anger and seek to help them: both by seeing their suffering and inherent goodness, and by helping them soothe the flames that burn them (and others).

Our consciousness can hold our anger and help dissolve it. We are far vaster than this feeling and nervous system state. We are interconnected and have the support of the world around us, the plants, the trees, the sunshine, the earth under our feet: to hold us and be with us as we mindfully tend to anger without losing connection to our vast interconnectedness with the world around us and consciousness.


BK Shivani: An alternate take

BK Shivani, the renowned spiritual teacher from the Brahma Kumaris tradition, offers a radical perspective: anger is a waste of energy. To some psychologists this might be seen as spiritual bypassing. But for some people it might be a useful frame, or a useful stepping stone in their relationship to anger, so I am including this as another way of relating to and holding anger in our lives. In AA they have a saying that resentment (anger) is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It’s like punishing ourselves for someone else’s mistakes, immaturity, lack of support to act wisely or woundedness. And B K Shavani speaks often of anger in line with this view: arising from faulty and limiting cognitive frames that diminish our strength as souls. And we have other possibilities or ways of seeing people, interactions and circumstances that can provoke compassion and freedom rather than anger in our system.

She teaches that every emotion creates a vibration within us and that anger as an energy can cloud our vision and connection to our true self and disturb our peace. Her solution? Detachment and self-sovereignty.

According to BK Shivani:

  • We are souls, not our emotions
  • Emotions are energies we can choose to feed/nourish/water or starve
  • True power lies in responding, in choosing – not reacting
  • When we identify with anger, we give away our peace

Her practical advice: When anger arises, pause and remember who you truly are. Then choose your response from a place of inner authority rather than outer provocation.


Stephen Porges: The Nervous System Story

Polyvagal Theory reframes anger as a biological state—not just an emotion, but a physiological response hardwired into our nervous system. Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety or threat. When it perceives danger, it shifts into defense mode: fight, flight, or freeze. Anger is the emotional and physical expression of our fight response—a mobilized state, a call to action.

Our nervous system doesn’t distinguish between physical and emotional threats. On a bad day, a harsh word, an unreturned text, or even a missing smile can trigger the same survival response as a physical attack. Dysregulation isn’t in the event itself, but in our neuroceptive read of it—our body’s interpretation of whether we’re safe or in danger.

Porges maps our nervous system responses in a hierarchy, with ventral vagal (social engagement) at the top, sympathetic (mobilization) in the middle, and dorsal vagal (shutdown) at the bottom. This hierarchy matters because if we collapse into dorsal vagal shutdown (freeze or dissociation), we must pass back through sympathetic activation (anger, anxiety, flight) to return to ventral vagal safety. Without support, many people get stuck ping-ponging between shutdown and hyperarousal—anger, anxiety, or panic—without the containment needed to sequence back into regulation.

StateFeelingResponseBehavioral Cues
Ventral VagalSafe, connected, calmSocial engagementEye contact, relaxed posture, warm tone
SympatheticAngry, anxious, alertFight or fleeTense muscles, rapid heartbeat, narrowed focus
Dorsal VagalNumb, hopeless, frozenShutdownDissociation, sluggishness, disconnection

The Path to Regulation: Self and Co-Regulation
To regulate anger, we need to contain, soothe, and sequence our nervous system responses. This happens through self-regulation (internal tools) and co-regulation (support from safe others, community, or nature). When anger arises, we can ground ourselves by asking:

  • “Is my nervous system perceiving a real threat, or is it already dysregulated and seeing danger where there is none?” (In threat mode, our physiology actually alters to tune into visual and auditory cues of danger—and to interpret neutral cues as threatening.)
  • “Is my nervous system perceiving or being reminded of a past threat?”
  • “How real is this threat?”
  • “How can my body safely sequence this charge?” (This often means movement—yawning, stretching, trembling, or orienting to safety—rather than acting out.)
  • “How can I orient to cues of safety?” (Use sensation, sound, touch, visuals—real or imagined—or connection with someone you love.)

Practical Ways to Soothe the Nervous System:

  • Splash cold water on your face (triggers the dive reflex, calming the system).
  • Reduce stimuli (dim lights, lower noise, create a quiet space).
  • Use calming scents (lavender, citrus) or reminders of safety.
  • Connect with a safe person, pet, or even an imagined presence.
  • Bilateral stimulation or movement.
  • Looking at pictures of baby animals!
  • Engage with nature—grounding in the present moment.

When anger feels overwhelming, remember: Your nervous system is doing its job—protecting you. The key is to meet it with curiosity and care, guiding it back to safety, one breath at a time.


Bringing in a higher power, whatever your religion

When overwhelmed by life’s challenges, we can turn to spiritual support. The practice is simple, yet profound:

This is not about bypassing or denying the anger. It’s about surrendering its weight to something greater than your individual self and struggle. In that surrender, you may find that the anger softens, not because it’s been suppressed, but because it’s been seen, held, and alchemized into something new.

  • We are not separate
  • Our emotions are energies
  • True strength comes from inner connection, not outer control
  • The same energy that fuels anger can fuel compassion when redirected
  • We can ask for spiritual help when surmounted by challenges in our lives
  • We have to live and feel our connection to a higher power, we can’t just think it

The practice is simple but profound: When anger arises, offer it. Say a prayer. Ask for spiritual help. Trust that the divine within you knows how to transmute this energy. And trust and thank every opportunity that turns you towards the divine for helping you develop and deepen your relationship with and expereince of the divine, whatever name you call it by.


Anger as a Guide, Not a Master

The great paradox of anger is that it contains both destruction and creation. It can burn bridges or weave together and light the way. It can isolate us or connect us more deeply to ourselves and others. It can open us to our vulnerability and vitality or close our hearts and energy flow.

When we approach anger with curiosity instead of fear, with compassion instead of judgment, we discover that it is not our enemy. It is the fire that asserts our aliveness, that forges our boundaries and fuels our courage. It opens the cracks for the light to touch us. It is interwoven with a vulnerability to delicate and present that it awakens our hearts and consciouness to what is greater than us.

The next time anger visits, don’t turn it away at the door. Invite it in. Sit with it. Listen to it. From your heart and the depths of your being. Give it to space to shift, to breathe, to transform. Allow it to awaken you to what is alive within you, and connect you to a greater and broader sense of self that includes all beings.


“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl

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