Author: Elise

“What stands in the way, is the way”

Marcus Aurelius 

Embarking on an expat journey, however wonderful, comes with its share of challenges that may impact individuals’ emotional well-being and social functioning. Whilst there can be a lot of commonalities and overlappings; it is true to say that not everyone finds themself on the same boat, nor on the same ocean. The expat or immigrant experience is impacted and dictated by a variety of factors such as our past history, mental health, host country bias’ and culture, age, race, sex not to mention our reason for moving :forced/voluntary? Happily/unwillingly? 

As a clinical psychologist, I work in supporting clients in navigating the complex terrain of the expatriate experience. 

Not everyone walks into the expat or immigrant experience and has a hard time. And for some that do, the hard time is fleeting moments, rather than months or years. But I thought I would write an alternate post to the ‘life is forever flowery since we moved to france’ and address a few things that can be painful learning curves in the moving experience; which is not to negate that expat life can be rich, colorful, invigorating, liberating and inclusive. Sometimes it is often a bit of both, just like anything in life. 

 I think sometimes there is a simple usefulness in just naming things so that we can separate from them and see them as an experience, rather than the reality of who we are, is helpful. In hearing things we might have felt or experienced (similarly) laid out we can see or reflect -oh that is how i feel, or how i felt  -and also -oh others feel that too – a little bit like having one’s mood lifted or altered through listening to music or lyrics or seeing artwork that accurately depicts it.  I believe that in naming things, we are allowing ourselves to un-blend from the experience so that we can actually hold it, rather than drowning in it. Our experience can then become less overwhelming, and also more possible to carry, as just one part of the multiple aspects of our human experience, rather than shading the whole thing in with its colors. And I have also seen with clients again and again, that perspective and distance from any experience gives space for a sense of genuine compassion for any hardships experienced.

Throughout this blog post, we will explore several key aspects of the expatriate experience, including homesickness, -isms, changes in relational dynamics and power, language and cultural barriers and  relationships in a new culture as some of the potential challenges of living in France. 

 As Marcus Aurelius said « What stands in the way, is the way ». Whilst this wisdom existed long before French bureaucracy was carefully created to short wire brains, this is essentially about making your challenges into what feeds you and helps you grow, and I hope that this piece will help you reframe any situation you have collapsed around or avoided into a challenge and creative opportunity that can make you stronger and deeper, whether you are considering a move abroad or have already settled into your new home. 

Homesickness

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned” — Maya Angelou.

As we explore the expatriate experience, one of the most common and emotionally challenging aspects we will come across is homesickness. Homesickness is not only the yearning for familiar surroundings and loved ones left behind; but losing a sense of familiarity and belonging. These feelings of disorientation, disconnection, longing and dislocation are a normal consequence in any expatriate experience, but one that can feel very overwhelming at times.

Don’t be surprised if you are a confident traveler but have got hit by a new experience when you actually set up roots somewhere: the psychological landscape of relocation is a different one to traveling. When I moved to North America, I had traveled there first, with very few problems. I assumed moving would be a similar experience; but with the move the whole frame of my life had somehow shifted. I felt, in those first months, or maybe even years, somehow fragile, dislocated and groundless. 

I feel that in our culture of doing, striving, comparing and achieving; predominantly living in the world of thoughts; most of us are not well set up for changes or moves that shake our foundation and require us to be embodied, regulated and resourced internally. I know I experienced that as a 21 year old moving to Colorado. The solidity that I had experienced in my being was acquired unknowingly largely through “outsourcing”! 

Co-regulating with our environment and relationships  is in no way bad – our relationship with place and people is one of the most beautiful and enriching gifts we can hope to be given in this life. However, when it is our only source of stability and groundedness, it is psychologically dangerous and unbalanced, and we can find ourselves uprooted not only physically but destabilized and uprooted emotionally when we move to a new country. 

Any big change or loss shows us how we are organized internally, or may crack open space for something to emerge that had been carefully sealed away and forgotten.

So if you find yourself in this position with homesickness or longing for ease, security, belonging, both in your inner being and outer world, think of it as a two pronged situation with a multi coloured solution. 

First of all you get to slow down to your actual experience it; accept yourself as you are (not as you should’ be or as you want to be/  in comparison to the concept of you that has ‘no struggles and can sail through a move without any wobbles’ (I have one too!));… lovingly accept yourself as you are and open with spaciousness, curiosity, tenderness, respect and compassion to your unique and precious one of  a lifetime experiences!!! as they arise within you. (Reminder, Hollywood is Hollywood and any life, or person, with any depth and color, has both hardship and joys, and we do well to accept both of them with the same amount of appreciation, knowing that life gives to us with generosity and love that is not always understandable to the logical mind). 

As rumi is so famously known for saying : 

So one approach to homesickness lies in finding a totally new and revised  -upgraded even!! – relationship with yourself and your experience (which will benefit you in all areas of your life). 

This means that the wobbles and unwindings that can come with a move can actually be a beckoning back to (and foundation for) a deeper and deeper connection to your being, and to living a life from a foundation of connection, peace and love. 

If you follow the above approach, you are facilitating a sense of belonging and connection in your inner world! Now for the outer!! The other most visible aspect and therefore remedy to homesickness  is practical. You have lost the familiar voices, faces and vistas – familiar and known shops, walks, commutes, language, routine, food, even currency…..Of course this is impactful. Don’t rush yourself through any feelings, but don’t let yourself drown in them either; as in neither position are we actually unconscious caring relationship with our experience.  Be compassionate with your feelings whilst also taking them into account and taking engaged, compassionate action in response to them. 

As an adults we can build the patchwork of friends, places, familiar soundscapes and language, etc up for ourselves (and our children). Languages can be learnt, new routines can be built, new friends can be made, new places can become familiar, familiar dishes and music and dances can be played and made. We can put energy towards creating places and faces we can not just know, but also be known by. All this takes time, effort, discernment and to some extent, strategy. 

If we don’t let ourselves be pulled by emotions of overwhelm, loneliness etc into a hopeless place where we are unsure of our competency, we can in fact get rather practical about imposing routine on ourselves, imposing interactions (because sometimes when people are feeling vulnerable after a move it can feel like an imposition) – but these things quickly can yield joy and a growing sense of familiarity and belonging. Keep showing up to that one gym, or cafe, or library, or co-working, and you will start to feel a part of the new world you are actually already part of. 

To combat feelings of homesickness, it is useful to establish a routine and find ways to create a sense of belonging in your new environment. By immersing yourself in your new surroundings and building relationships with those around you, you can alleviate feelings of homesickness and create a sense of stability in your new home.  

Whilst as adults, most friendships typically don’t just fall into our lap in the way friendships did when we were a child, we can make ourselves available to new, healthy connections in a variety of ways. Joining local meet-ups, finding events on facebook, joining  (or starting) clubs or associations of any kind, art classes, or even Bumble best friend (an extension of the dating app for people to find friends) or pinning a note in one of your local shops for language exchange or to offer help and comâny for a local elder who might be feeling the strains of loneliness also.  These are just a few examples of the many possibilities for connection. I was surprised to meet one of my very best friends in France through BBF and felt glad I had been willing to be open to unknown avenues: we share the same age, same career and hobbies, same expat lifestyle and most importantly, both with space and intention in our lives to create new close friendships. 

When making new friendships in a new culture we also will face choices, others and our own pre-existing limitations, cross cultural challenges and joys. Some people do not need new friends, or even particularly want them. Taking this personally, is not only delusional, but unkind to oneself (and potentially others). There are lots of people, who like you, do have time and space in their lives and heart for new close connections. So focus on these, not chasing the golden duck, whoever that is 😉 

Whilst it is also very nice and enriching to have friends of the local culture, it is also often nice to have friends of one’s own culture, or who are at least foreign to the culture you have moved to. When I moved to Toulouse I was stubbornly determined to only have French friends. How I hoped to achieve this with the few french words I knew is still a mystery, but I was steely in my resolve! What I found out over time, is that most french women that I met had a very different way of going about friendship than I was used to, and that actually for me to feel really great about myself and my life, I also needed friends from abroad who liked to share the same amount of closeness in their lives that I -and they – were used to our friendships. Commonality is also very bonding (as well as joking rather rudely and ungrateful occasionally about one’s host culture). Expats also often face unique challenges when it comes to adjusting to a new culture, and it can feel cozy, warm and hilarious to have friends that you share the ins and outs of being “a foreigner” with. 

Additionally,I think it is essential to maintain contact with loved ones back at home, if you are so fortunate, through regular video calls, messages, and social media updates. Video calling is a real game changer for feeling the connection you have with loved ones, as you can see their eyes, facial expressions, warmth, and for me it just feels a whole lot nicer than phone calls! Maintaining connections to your previous support network will help stay connected to yourself and your sense of identity, which can be wobbled when feeling a little at a loss in a new place. 

It’s very important not to shame oneself for feeling or being lonely, which as a therapist working with expats I see quite a lot. Loneliness is hard enough, without being nasty, critical, blaming, self rejecting and shaming oneself about it as an experience. Can you imagine a little child, or even a friend coming to you, their heart aching with sadness, loneliness and overwhelm and telling them ‘well, it’s your fault..there is something wrong with you’. This is the externalized version of the painful relationship some people have with themselves and it’s not a state that makes homesickness any easier.  

Hard times and experiences, including homesickness, are in fact times when we most need kindness, appreciation and encouragement, and to stay in contact with our own values. You are not lonely through a flaw on your part (and if you are, this can be worked on also!). You are lonely because loneliness is an inherent part of the experience of moving countries. 

Disillusionment can also be part of homesickness. You might have looked toward your future in France with rose tinted glasses, imagining a romanticized fantasy of happiness, amour eternelle, contentment and anything else that was promised to you in a perfume ad featuring a naked lady spiritually communing with traffic in Paris. In the same way we can be disappointed by what we hoped for in a relationship with a person, we can be disappointed by what we might have hoped for in our relationship with a place, culture or country. 

I, unlike many others, moved here with no great love of France or the French. I therefore had no real illusions to shatter, nor fantasy foundation upon which I was building my life. This made the uphill grind with bureaucracy and the efforts in growing a thick skin retroactively to protect me from inexplicable rudeness not the harsh slap in the face and fall from an ideal or salvation I had pointed my ship toward it could have been, had I romanticized life in France. (Slap in the face nonetheless sometimes!) But it was easier to bare, because I didn’t have a preconceived idea about how happy I would be here; or that France was going to make me happy or fulfilled in imagined and unimagined ways or fix completely unrelated issues in my life. (That type of delusional and stubborn madness was saved for my younger romances!) The move was functional, and I felt I was responsible (to an ever growing extent), for my own happiness. 

For those who move here with a deep seated, yet rather unrealistic love for the French and French culture; I am sorry if you have encountered a different reality. Sometimes things live up to our hopes and dreams; go smoothly and sometimes not so much (as is the case in any brave change). Homesickness can really take root and permeate those who had grand hopes of a life with no emotional lows here. But all that can be combated with a realistic reframe and letting go of past hopes to adjust to your present reality. 

The inverse can also happen. 

Just as people might find that they moved to a country that doesn’t exist (outside of their minds and movies); some people might romanticize home to the extent that they are missing a fantasy, rather than a reality, of what life was really like. I fall into this category on occasion at the beginning. Initially I clung to the idea that anything I encountered that I didn’t like; from a friendly scattering of dog poos in the street outside my home or the outright rudeness of the dry cleaner, would never happen in England or America, with the delusional desperation of a drowning person clinging to a banana. It was unproductive to think this way as it didn’t help me deal with my feelings or the reality in front of me. It was also dishonest, as people can be artfully impolite and aggressive wherever they are found if you come across them in the wrong way, on the wrong day or the wrong lifetime! So if you have this particular neurosis of romanticizing what was –  know that it is not going to help you walk through and out of homesickness, but rather keep you stuck there in an uncomfortable and often disconnected limbo land. Best to go home if you can and want, or make it work here. Romanticizing what was or could be stops you living a rewarding and fulfilling life, living up to your full potential and capacity, in the here and now. 

And remember, homesickness isn’t just about missing friends and family – it’s about losing a sense of belonging and familiarity.  So find ways to create solace, comfort within. You can do this through meditation, guided visualisâtion even reading your favorite poems. But re-find and re-visit frequency home within frequently, as a committed, worthy and essential mission. What we give our time and attention to grows, so paying attention to ways you do feel at home, and a sense of home within, grows this experience in ever widening circles until this is the state you are back to living in. 

Experiences of racism and sexism as an expat or immigrant in France 

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

As an expat or immigrant in France, you may encounter prejudices and discriminatory behavior based on your ethnicity, gender, or other characteristics. France is a country that ‘does not recognise race’ and where some politicians and leaders like to say racism doesn’t exist because of this (race is not registered/recorded and therefore no racial statistics or profiling can happen). However, this does not mean that racism and sexism do not exist. This is too large a topic to discuss in this piece but will be discussed later, in a paper dedicated to exploring this subject. 

I was also startled at the level of institutionalized sexism I found not only in social policy, banking, etc, but in the formation of male female relationships, including romantic relationships. These are both topics I can not do justice to in any way in this short mention, other than point to their existence, and encourage you to speak to people both in your immediate and in your extended circle, to hear about their experience, their advice, their reflections and insights on the matter, or what you can do to support them. It is always good to have our perspective heard, validated and responded to. 

Understanding the cultural background of the country and becoming aware of any prevalent prejudices and stereotypes may also help you identify potential triggers and prepare for intercultural conflicts. Building a support network of like-minded individuals and trusted friends and having a group of people who understand your experiences and provide emotional support can be crucial.

In France, there’s an anti-discrimination commission you can contact if you face any form of workplace or societal discrimination based on race or gender. It’s important to be aware of your rights and how to file complaints or pursue legal action if necessary, and people in your community can help you with that.

Obviously one encounters the limitations of the law and other regulatory bodies in every country. This is why it is important that people are engaged in creating allyship to support people who encounter daily discrimination. If you are not the target of discrimination, just because you don’t in a way belong to France, it belongs to you, and you can become part of a solution to support inclusivity and a celebration and equality of everyone, no matter where they are from. 

Language and cultural barriers

“Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.” 

― Amy Chua

Language barriers can be one of the most significant challenges for expats, leading to miscommunication, missed opportunities, and frustration. Language barriers not only limit basic communication but also hinder social bonding, work and integration within a new community. 

The key to overcoming these challenges is to invest time and effort in learning the local language. Seek out language classes, partner with a native speaker, or use language learning apps such as Tandem or Preply to enhance your linguistic skills. Having a kind, open, accepting language teacher who will help you with all parts of french communication – verbal and non verbal is essential and will make all the difference. 

I had been in France for over a few years when I met Pascal, a french native and son of immigrant parents, teaching French online from Bangkok! He was so encouraging and could explain to me some of the obstacles I found in french culture so that they made sense to me, emotionally and cognitively. With his help I found an ever deepening ease within the culture as both my verbal and cultural fluency progressed because of this kind and knowledgeable, open minded teacher, who was able to self reflect on, and introduce, his own culture and language to me in a way I could understand. 

Unless you are really into BDSM, don’t torture yourself with a critical, haughty teacher who jumps on your mistakes and is keen to impress on you their own superiority, the superiority of the French language and culture and basically destroy you in the most vulnerable time of your life. Think of the qualities you look for in a good friend and maybe try to find them in a French teacher! 

Romance in a new culture

JE NE SAIS PAS OÙ VA MON CHEMIN MAIS JE MARCHE MIEUX QUAND MA MAIN SERRE LA TIENNE.

-Alfred de Musset

Expats may find themselves navigating uncharted waters when it comes to romance in a new culture. Romantic norms, expectations, and behaviors vary across cultures, from courting practices to gender roles and relationship definitions. 

Not only that, but you may find yourself much more isolated, needy and generally overwhelmed, which can lead to either self isolation or making impulsive and undiscerning choices when it comes to relationships. Don’t let homesickness, loneliness or homicidal urges towards anyone involved in the french paperwork system guide you into a relationship! 

Again, this is a topic that warrants much more exploration, but a general rule of thumb is that expat and immigrants are balancing a lot of novelty and challenge in a new move, typically without much ground. Go slow, and try create as much ground as possible so that you can be more sure footed in walking the path of love. Be patient and allow yourself to adapt to navigating a romantic relationship in a new culture that can be both daunting and exciting. 

Changes in Relational Dynamics and Power

When moving to a new country, relationships can undergo significant changes. Being aware of these changes and understanding the dynamics of power in your relationships can make the transition smoother.  Expats often find themselves in a power-differential relationship in their interactions with friends, partners, and colleagues. If you have moved here with a French speaking partner, it’s good to have honest, curious and supportive  conversations to explore how the relational and power dynamic between you has shifted, and what you choose to both do consciously in response to this to support each other.  

Stating the obvious, but respect for cultural differences can help in enhancing the relational dynamics in an expat’s life. It also helps them to avoid feelings of isolation or exclusion. Expats may face differing power dynamics and relational challenges in their new cultural context. In a new social environment, individuals may find themselves in a position of “otherness” and at risk of social exclusion.

Expats need to be mindful of their own shifted personal context,  different cultural nuances and their impact on their relationships. Additionally, you can make sure to maintain your sense of individuality, even as you navigate the new culture.

People might become aware of the role they took for granted or were just unconscious of. I didn’t realize how much space I took up in a group until I was stripped of my capacity to be intelligent, understanding or funny. I realized how these ‘character’ traits, that I had thought of simply as myself, were actually defenses against underlying insecurities that I got to work through in standing much more ‘naked’ in front of people. I also became aware of the role I had previously taken in groups and came to value other roles, such as those who contribute through their presence, but not so much through their words. I started to be nourished by taking a different place in a group of people and now feel I get to choose more where and how to place myself and be more conscientious of inclusion and exclusion within group dynamics. So you see, there can be a silver lining in anything, including social ostracisation 😉 

To prevent feeling isolated, it can be useful to practice sensitivity towards differing mentalities and social mores. I realized, for instance, that the openness and smilyness I had got used to living and extending to people, was often seen here as either a rapid invitation for sexual intercourse (!!!) or a sign of stupidity or weakness.  You have to adjust to the cultural mores of a place in order to actually be seen and related to clearly. Whilst sometimes this can feel like losing yourself or your integrity, it actually is just like learning a new language through which to express something honest through: consisting of codes, of body postures, of habits, etc : adjusting your language so that people can receive you and really see you. 

Adapt and respect the values and norms of your new community while maintaining your own self-identity and values and remember that your true culture will live inside you and you can stay true to it in the way that is important to you.  In France, brushing up against the routinely practiced idea and cultural philosophy that coldness, judgment, arrogance and hostility are a social grace and a sign of marked intelligence 😉 I came to realize that my true culture is one of the heart. No one and nothing can take that from me (apart from myself and my own flaws!), and I can continue to live from that place, with anybody, and in any circumstance. 

Learning about power dynamics within relationships can be also useful, giving you a bit more a map to understand some of what you might be experiencing and help you reconnect to others as equals. Don’t hesitate to seek support from mental health professionals or expat support groups to better manage expat-related stressors such as shifting power dynamics, culture shock and personal challenges. 

Conclusion

“In every ending there is a new beginning.” 

― Deborah Harknes

In conclusion, moving abroad and starting a new life can be both exhilarating and challenging. From adjusting to new cultures, maintaining relationships, dealing with homesickness, and navigating cultural and language barriers, expat life offers unique experiences and opportunities for growth. However, it also presents its fair share of challenges. By adopting a proactive mindset, seeking professional help when needed, and building a strong support network, expats can navigate these challenges and make the most of their move abroad. Living happily as an expatriate isn’t just about adapting to changes – it’s also about embracing them and using them as stepping stones for personal and professional development. While the expat journey may have its difficulties, it can also lead to a richer, more fulfilling life overall. 

Please reach out if you would like support in whatever chapter you are at in your life, and whatever stage on your journey. 

Warm wishes,

Elise 

​​Women’s embodied wellness and menstruation : for a full version of this blog post with foot notes and citations : https://docs.google.com/document/d/1snVGnIP5xLyOaXEfXZpLZcgRYz6CtZFfnwHGQq_RJoo/edit?usp=sharing

A deeply impactful long spanning event in a woman’s embodied experience is the menstrual cycle. As a mental health practitioner, I am placed to support women to deepen their ongoing discovery as to how to navigate their own natural cycles and physiology for physical and mental wellbeing; and acknowledging the impact of the menstrual cycle and hormones on mental health is part of this. 

I believe it is a disservice to our (menstruating) clients if we are not taking this into consideration; or pointing them in the right direction to start considering this information and how it can be important for them if we don’t want to or don’t feel qualified to include its consideration in sessions. We can also do this by acknowledging our lack of information or specialization and perhaps the need to refer clients to an ayurvedic, TCM practitioner, naturopath or traditional doctor to support them with their mental and physical well being, as I would do at the level of information that I have. 

The menstrual cycle and its accompanying hormonal changes impacts such a broad range of things. It is a BIG factor but is still: 

• Little spoken of
• Little researched
• Little disseminated (we remain very uninformed. One example we are highly uninformed as to the high correlation of mental health issues with hormone imbalance)
• Little supported culturally or educationally : for instance in my entire formation as a therapist this HuGE and DEEPLY IMPACTFUL subject was considered or covered for a total of zero seconds. Even in ongoing specialized education, training is very slim on the ground, and far surpassed by the burgeoning fad popularity of branded psychology trends and methodologies which take female hormones as a non consequence in their approach, such as the overly popularized IFS approach. 

The menstrual cycle and its accompanying hormonal changes impacts such a broad range of things from:  

• depth and quality of sleep/ tendency towards wakefulness and insomnia
• sensitivity or resiliency to temperature changes and resting basal temperature
• energy levels 
• calories and specific nutrients needed or how they are used
• mood stability or vulnerability to swings and sensitivity
• skin health
• our sense of smell and also smells we emit!
• Relapse or exaggeration of mental health symptoms 
• and so on. 

Hormones also deeply and unequivocally impact mental health being linked to schizophrenia, major depressive issues, anxiety, insomnia, etc. 

A lack of information and therefore lifestyle support for our psychology and emotional wellbeing coming from ourselves as individuals and also culturally during different phases of our cycle can also exacerbate or deepen the list of possibilities. (EG if I schedule all my most taxing business appointments during pre bleed and first few days of bleed, I notice not only will I be drained to the point of tearful exhaustion, but I will also feel discombobulated, emotional, less clear and less energized for the whole duration of the remaining phases of my cycle. If I rest during this time, really deep, spacious rest, with as little scheduled as is possible, I feel bright, light, energized and relatively pain free through my cycle). 

Our environment and lifestyle, cultural consciousness, and personal conscious and unconscious schemas (including shame, disgust, rejection) around Women’s bodies and natural functions, impacts how we experience our cycles also. 

All must be considered for women who wish to live well and unentangled from unconscious or unhealthy practices that diminish their wellbeing, energy levels and internal cycle. 

This paper is a contribution to generalized, rather than specialized information regarding the menstrual cycle. It is a place to get started, but is not an ending point  – ongoing discovery can happen both experientially with playing with new or remembered knowledge, and also through specialized care from, for instance, an ayurvedic practitioner who can work in dosha balancing to support your cycle, or in a menstrual wellness coach. But this is an entrance point of basic information—for therapists to give to their clients, or for women to come to independently and take what they like, and as the saying goes, leave the rest and perhaps add to the wisdom they have already that they can weave into part of their lives.

Navigating the Menstrual Cycle 

The menstrual cycle is a natural, recurring process that occurs in females of reproductive age. Dr. Diane Grise, ND writes that ‘the female cycle results from the natural fluctuation of various sex hormones as the brain (pituitary gland), ovaries (releasing of the egg) and the uterus (a hollow muscular organ with the inside lining shedding during menstruation) work together to orchestrate the four unique phases each month’. 

The menstrual cycle is therefore not just about bleeding but an entire cyclical process involving interacting bodily systems that occurs in women between the onset of menstruation and menopause. It involves changes in hormone level and in the function of the ovaries and the endometrium, the lining of the uterus that create four distinct phases: Menstruation, Follicular Phase, Ovulation, and Luteal Phase. 

Each phase has its own unique hormonal profile and can impact energy levels, mood, sleep, athletic and cognitive performance and mental health (plus more) in particular ways. Knowing about these, and most importantly getting to know our own unique experiences of these, can help us maximize our mental and physical wellbeing and our interactive experiences with our world and community.

In this article, we will explore the phases of the menstrual cycle, the hormonal changes involved, and provide tips for starting inquiry points on how to care for oneself during each phase. 

Menstruation phase / Winter

The first phase is menstruation, which occurs when the endometrial lining of the uterus sheds, leading to menstrual bleeding. This phase lasts for about 3 to 7 days and is characterized by decreasing levels of progesterone and estrogen. 

The drop in these hormones (progesterone and estrogen) can affect mood, leading to irritability, anxiety, overwhelm, sadness and general heightened emotions. 

Kate Merrick, a therapist, writes «  This is a time of heightened intuition, quiet reflection, and stillness; a time to attend to our inner emotional and spiritual world and to withdraw from the world outside, as much as our action packed modern life allows ».

Pay attention to your body’s needs during this phase, as both emotional vulnerability as well as fatigue, cramping and other physical symptoms can be factors. It’s essential to prioritize self-care during this phase by getting enough rest, restricting energy expenditure (unnecessary or unfulfilling social encounters for instance, not that they are ever a great idea, but very much to be avoided in this phase!) , eating nutrient-dense foods, and engaging in self-compassion practices.

During this phase our bodies can be prone to cold; so it is advised also to soothe your system with warmth: warm foods, drinks, clothes, infrared saunas, etc and to avoid too much cold exposure. Eating easy to digest, warm, soft, nutrient dense foods that are both physically and emotionally nurturing and supportive to nervous system stability (i.e. don’t let yourself get too hungry or strung out) is also key. 

Many women can find gentle exercise can help alleviate cramps. Because of the slump in energy during menstruation, low-intensity aerobic exercises, such as swimming, yoga, strength training and light cardio – including walking and cycling – can be easier on the body. They’re non-weight bearing activities and not very endurance heavy.

Follicular phase / Spring 

The second phase, the follicular phase, starts after menstruation and lasts until ovulation. During this phase, the hormone Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH) stimulates the growth of several ovarian follicles, each containing a potential egg. 

As the follicles mature, estrogen levels gradually increase, which can improve mood, enhance energy levels, and boost libido. 

As the dominant follicle takes over, estrogen production further increases, leading to a rise in serotonin, the neurotransmitter associated with feelings of happiness and well-being. The heightened estrogen levels during the follicular phase can make you feel more energetic, confident and optimistic. 

Basic research suggests that there is an innate link between estrogen and increased brain function as well as creativity. This is a time to seize the opportunity to embrace collective actions, creative projects, learning new skills, scheduling important tasks or meetings, or work on projects that require analytical thinking and decision-making skills. 

Even so, it is important to be aware of the potential hormonal fluctuations and mood swings that can occur during this phase. To stay balanced, maintain a healthy diet, engage in regular exercise, and practice stress-relieving techniques such as meditation, embodied movement, dance or yoga, or deep breathing exercises. 

Ovulation Phase / Summer 

The third phase, ovulation, occurs when the mature egg is released from the ruptured ovarian follicle (from either the left or right ovary). This phase typically lasts for a single day and is characterized by an increased presence of luteinizing hormone (LH), which causes the surge in estrogen and progesterone levels. 

These elevated hormones can lead to heightened mood, improved mental clarity, and an increased desire for sex. Others also pick up on our hormonal changes (that apparently make our scent, eyes, lips, even limbs softer and more inviting!) Ovulation can be a great time to feel confident in oneself, and with a partner, or simply bask in the joy of enhancing your social interactions and connections. 

To balance the increased energy levels and sexual arousal that accompany ovulation, stay hydrated, eat a balanced diet, and enjoy engaging in physical activity.

Whilst this is generally a time when women can feel energized and optimistic, open to social connection etc; ovulation and the change in hormone level can sometimes cause mood fluctuations or even mini depressive moments. So again, get familiar with your own cycle and your own triggers and energy and mood fluctuations so that you can both anticipate and care for yourself well in the moment. 

Luteal phase / Autumn  

The final phase, the luteal phase, starts right after ovulation and lasts for about 10 to 14 days until the next menstruation. During this phase, the corpus luteum, (a temporary mass of cells left behind by the disintegrating follicle), releases progesterone and estrogen to prepare the uterus for the possible implantation of a fertilized egg. 

The rise of progesterone levels can trigger feelings of fatigue, irritability, and sadness/depression. It is crucial to prioritize self-care during this phase to manage these symptoms and support overall emotional and mental well-being. 

« Conventional Western and Integrative Medicine recognizes that when a woman’s progesterone does not rise as expected during the luteal phase, symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) are often profound, resulting in a significant change in mood, pain, sleep, heavy menstruation, and decreased energy levels. When there is a prolonged imbalance of the ratio of estrogen to progesterone, we refer to this as estrogen dominance. This can result in tissue changes including endometriosis or uterine fibroids ».

Engage in activities that feed your soul, such as spending time in nature, engaging in creative pursuits, or social connections with those that enable you to feel supported and nurtured. In addition, practice stress-reducing techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga or gentle creative pursuits such as writing, painting, etc to connect with yourself when you have the time.

Stay warm! : « Based on the principles of TCM, avoiding frequent cold-water immersion during the luteal phase (prior to menstruation) and during menstruation will support the warming of the uterus required for proper blood flow and reduce painful menstruation ».

Your cycle: supported through understanding and self care 

So, now you have been introduced to each phase again and hints at possibilities of how to take care of yourself in each part of the cycle, we will take a look at a few common pointers. 

Plan in advance 

Get to know yourself and your cycle so you can plan in advance : food, activities, who and where and how you spend your time. Planning may seem anal, but actually packing a warm coat for winter isn’t anal; it’s common sense that helps you enjoy and have fun in the cold. Planning for each phase of your cycle helps you to receive what each phase has to offer, and build your energy and wellbeing and hormonal balance progressively and cumulatively over each month. 

Part of self care and self compassion can be planning in advance; and creating plans that are congruent with your physical and emotional state. For instance, when you are grieving, you wouldn’t plan certain social activities because of heightened needs and vulnerabilities. In the same way, plan what nurtures, soothes and energizes you during each phase of your cycle. 

You can think about it like this: the menstrual cycle is a unique and essential bodily rhythm that affects every aspect of your life. In order to truly thrive, it’s essential to understand the different phases and their accompanying hormonal changes. By doing so, you can make conscious decisions to support your physical, emotional, and mental well-being throughout each phase:

Developing a Harmonious Relationship with Your Body means Embracing the cyclical nature of your menstrual cycle and recognizing the various phases as opportunities for growth, self-care, and understanding. By becoming more attuned to your body and its needs during each phase, you can better anticipate and manage any potential challenges and feelings of discomfort.

Mood and Mental Health During Menstruation

Recognize that changes in mood and mental health during menstruation arenot uncommon. Many texts say they « normal » (perhaps not so, yet normalized because this is an under researched area of core importance, and we are living with normalized mental health issues stemming from inaccurate information and care around our menstrual cycles). Either way, unfortunately Women’s experience of emotional symptoms during their cycle is very common, but I hope this will change, with increased research and application of research in our individual and collective lives. 

Each cycle can vary from woman to woman, and from cycle to cycle . It’s essential to be patient with oneself and practice self-compassion, and to stay connected at all costs! to your own bodymind and its experience so that you can navigate well. Don(t shoot the ‘second arrow’ when you are feeling low, overwhelmed, confused, raging! Welcome your experience with as much kindness as you can muster and know this too shall pass. If your mood is very impacted then do consult a professional who can support you through traditional or conventional medicine path to balance your hormones and subsequently extend greater resiliency and balance emotionally. 

Track Your Cycle, including moods, energy levels, sleep, etc: 

Maintain a menstrual cycle journal to document your symptoms, energy levels, and mood changes. Use this data to create personalized strategies for each phase of the cycle, such as adjusting your exercise routine or modifying your diet to better align with your body’s needs.There are apps now that will make this process so easy for you, and hold your hand each step of the way, also accumulating information about your mood, energy levels etc at each phase to feedback to you. Easy peasie! 

Practice Embodied Mindfulness: 

Engaging in embodiment practices will help you stay grounded and connected to your body throughout the menstrual cycle. Chuck out the idea of practices, diets, etc that are good and bad for others because all that is important is what is good for you. Embrace what works for you. Don’t impose yoga on yourself because it is a should or seems spiritual, if it doesn’t bring you into your body. Find something else, like whistling barefoot on your lawn.

Hormone fluctuations can change our stress level, emotions, and even I believe our nervous system states, exasperating or exaggerating embodiment or dissociation. It is important that we learn how to stay embodied, and set this as a priority in our lives, knowing that success in our work, relationships, health, etc grows from this strong, open and loving foundation of own presence. 

Learn about how to live in harmony with your inner seasons and your outer world. 

This requires study! (as our normalized modern life has strayed so far away from what we have adapted to live in!) and experimentation and time. enjoy the journey : )

Eat and drink right for you!!!!! 

This could be a while book, but you know 🙂 You know 🙂 Hydrate, nourish. Eat foods at the right ties, in the right quantities for your body. Consult a specialist if you need to. Take supplements if you can, for instance iron or nettle tea building up to menstruation, camomile to calm cramps. Food is medicine, preventative medicine. Treat yourself as well as your life and budget allow and reframe healthy living as the treat, rather than acid creating sugar treats and fast food. 

Embrace period positivity. 

It is part of your life, part of the body you were given, part of a shared collective experience. Destigmatize, deshame it. Learn yourself well through taking in and digesting new information and attitudes towards the menstrual cycle. Learn yourself well in your relationship to your menstrual cycle and body. If people around you shame the female body and its processes, you get to walk away rather than swallow this misinformation and violence. Embrace body positivity (which includes period positivity) for yourself so that you can support young women in our culture, growing up in a culture which does not support their most basic emotional and physiological needs of women. You be the change: for you and others. 

Identify Hormonal Imbalances (with the help of a practitioner if necessary) 

While hormonal fluctuations are a normal part of the menstrual cycle, significant disruptions in energy levels, mood, or mental health could indicate an underlying hormonal imbalance. Familiarize yourself with the following signs:

– Persistent Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) symptoms: If you experience severe or persistent symptoms such as severe cramps, bloating, mood swings, or headaches several days before your period, it may be indicative of hormonal imbalances or other medical conditions. Consult with your healthcare professional to determine the cause and appropriate treatment.

– Irregular menstrual cycles or absent menstruation: Changes in the frequency or duration of your menstrual cycle can be an indication of hormonal imbalances caused by polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), stress, or other factors. Regular doctor visits and discussion of your menstrual patterns can help identify any underlying issues.

– Acne flare ups or over excessive hair growth: Issues such as PCOS or hormone-related conditions may cause changes in the balance of sex hormones, leading to acne outbreaks or excessive facial Hormonal fluctuations throughout the menstrual cycle can significantly impact a woman’s energy levels.

Don’t let things stagnate 

For our cycle to be comfortable, things need to be in flow in our body and mind. Keep practices as such that you experience your emotions but they don’t build up or create blocks. Keep communication open, honest and kind in relationships so that things stay balanced and in a flow of reciprocity and harmony. Keep your body moving gently, without over or under expending it physically and energetically so you stay in a state of harmonious flow. Don’t under or overeat, and eat in accord with what your body needs, at times that it can receive and digest the food, to keep your digestive system in flow. Moving, eating , sleeping well and self massage help keep lymph circulating, as do use of heat and cold (at appropriate points in your cycle). Keep the breath moving, and if you tend towards shallow breathing, practice breathing techniques that help the flow of prana and oxygen into and around your body, and the flow of waste out. These are just a few examples of how to stay in flow. Writing, painting, singing or dancing out our feelings, staying in connection with our environment, the seasons, the daily rhythm of night and day and the seasons around us, keeps us connected and supported by a greater organizing force and flow of the world that we are part of. 

Embrace your choices

If periods are too traumatizing and overwhelming for you physically or psychologically, it doesn’t matter the reason, know that you have choices and every woman gets to decide what is globally healthy and right for her. There are interventions now, as for instance those provided by Seasonale (https://ressourcessante.salutbonjour.ca/drug/getdrug/seasonale) that you can discuss with your health provider. Is Menstruation Obsolete? argues that regular monthly bleeding is not the “natural” state of women, and that it actually places them at risk of several medical conditions of varying severity. The authors maintain that while menstruation may be culturally significant, it is not medically meaningful. Moreover, they propose that suppressing menstruation has remarkable health advantages.

Because of cultural changes, shorter durations of breastfeeding, and birth control, the reproductive patterns of modern women no longer resemble that of their Stone age ancestors. Women have moved from the age of incessant reproduction to the age of incessant menstruation. Consequently, they often suffer from clinical disorders related to menstruation: anemia, endometriosis, and PMS, just to name a few. The authors encourage readers to recognize what has gone previously unnoticed that this monthly discomfort is simply not obligatory. They present compelling evidence that the suppression of menstruation is a viable option for women today, and that it can be easily attained through the use of birth control pills. In fact, they reveal that contraceptive manufacturers, knowing that many women equate menstruation with femininity and that without monthly bleeding would fear that they were pregnant, engineered pill dosage regimens to ensure the continuation of their cycles. Indeed, throughout history societies have assigned menstruation powerful meaning, and Is Menstruation Obsolete? presents a fascinating history of how menstruation inspired doctors to try therapeutic bleeding for a variety of ailments, and how this therapy remained dominant in Western medicine until the early 20th century. 

Is Menstruation Obsolete? potentially offers women a fresh view of menstruation, providing them with the information they need to make choices about their health. 

Questions/ starting explorations for each cycle as you start to familiarize yourself with the changing needs of your body: 

Here are examples of questions that you can explore to get a little more familiar with each phase of your cycle, but again, they are just examples pointing you towards finding your own way. 

• How is my sleep? How can I support my sleep?
• How is my appetite? Do I eat too much or too little ? 
• What do I crave food/ drink wise? What actually nourishes and energies me during this phase? 
• How is my mood? What supports positivity, clarity, connection, compassion and balance in this phase?
• How do I feel about my body, nervous system and energy? Heavy, light, blocked, open, flowing, cold/hot, etc? What exaggerates or lessens this? how do i want to feel, what do i need to support this? 
• How are my energy levels? what energizes me at this phase in my cycle (e.g. intense exercise might energizes you at one point, but not another; or socializing might nourish you during parts of your cycle, but tend towards depleting you at other parts). 
• How much rest/sleep/ exercise /alone time/socializing do i tend to need to stay sane and well? 
• What emotions do I tend to have around this time? How do I act from this place? What would I like to experience? How can I prepare for that? 
• What self care practices really vibe with me at this point in my cycle ? What do I need? What feels out of reach that I can let go of for this phase ? (eg if you really struggle with dissociation, numbness and emotional overwhelm and ptsd symptoms during pre bleed, meditation might not be the lost helpful resource, rather warm clothes, yummy scents, time with loved ones, gentle exercises, self massage, music that uplifts you, weight training, etc might help you stay present and in your body better than meditation). (also when we should be ourselves with self care, we miss the point. t is therefore good to acknowledge that our resistance or incapacity to self care in certain ways might be because we have a personally or cultural imposed idea of what is good, right, healthy for us, but it just isn’t, or it brings up too much for us if we care for ourselves in this way. so honor yourself, the intelligence of your resistance, and listen to what you truly need, relationally, tenderly, daringly. ) 
• What am I sensorily, sensually and visually drawn to or need in this phase? What kind of environment do I need to be in? do i like or need a lot or a little stimulation at that time?
• How do I feel about my body? and sexuality ? How does my uterus and vagina look/ feel? Dry? Lubricated? Irritated? at this phase of my cycle? Again, how can I extend wisdom and care to support and enhance my experience of wellbeing and balance? 

Examples of Self care questions: 

• How can i open myself to what i am experiencing in the here and now
• How can I love and accept this as part of my experience?
• what do i feel and need in this moment
• can i honor my needs as valuable and equal to those around me and lovingly take care of myself by ‘putting on my oxygen mask first’ 

Resources

I am going to supply a very non-exhaustive and potentially contradictory list of resources here, just to give an example of some of the information (and different forms of it, different opinions and ideas and approaches) that are there, as a possible starting point for you to find an approach that resonates with you. Remember women have been under-represented in academic research and science and so this area is still developing. There are not huge amounts of studies charting hormonal changes, and how these impact us, but hopefully this will continue to change, as it is doing. 

Online blogs and academic research/papers (just a few examples): 

HER CENTER: Exploring the link between reproductive hormones and mental illness in women: https://www.monash.edu/medicine/her-centre/education/publications

Infradian Rhythm: Your Guide to a Perfect Cycle:https://www.floliving.com/blog/infradian-rhythm

Example of ayurvedic approaches to menstrual cycle health: 

https://www.banyanbotanicals.com/pages/ayurvedic-healthy-cycle-guide?srsltid=AfmBOoqDqqilNqMIqPdlRT9Gk3zkyuLt_Afzq7pcR6M28Po1683dWECB

Benefits of cold plunging for women : https://www.optimyze.me/blog/considerations-for-hot-and-cold-exposure-in-women

Examining impact of light on hormones : Morning exposure to bright light in the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle stimulates the secretion of hypophyseal reproductive hormones, promotes ovary follicle growth, and increases ovulation rates in women with slightly lengthened menstrual cycles. This might be a promising method to overcome infertility : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1851732/

Sleep in women: a narrative review of hormonal influences, sex differences and health implications: Monica L. Andersen^, Helena Hachul^; Isabela Antunes Ishikura^, Sergio Tufik^:  https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sleep/articles/10.3389/frsle.2023.1271827/full#:~:text=High%20 levels%20of%20the%20 progesterone,et%20al.,%202018^).

^{How Women’s Hormones Can Affect Their Sleep – And Tips for Improving It!::} https://vpfw.com/blog/how-womens-hormones-can-affect-their-sleep-and-tips-for-improving-it/

Role of Ovarian Hormones in the Modulation of Sleep in Females Across the Adult Lifespan

Alana M C Brown and Nicole J Gervais^{: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7450669/}

Dietary energy intake across the menstrual cycle: a narrative review

Michaela M Rogan and Katherine E Black: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10251302/

To what extent do sexual hormones influence bipolar disorder?: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9480242/

ADHD and hormones: https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-and-hormonal-changes-in-women // https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/hormones-adhd-connection // https://www.additudemag.com/low-estrogen-adhd-hormones-theory/

The menstrual month: how to exercise effectively at every stage of your cycle: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/02/the-menstrual-month-how-to-exercise-effectively-at-every-stage-of-your-cycle

Books (just a few examples)

Fix Your Period: Six Weeks to Banish Bloating, Conquer Cramps, Manage Moodiness, and Ignite Lasting Hormone Balance by Nicole Jardim

Do You Have a Tipped Uterus?: 69 Things Your Gynecologist Wishes You Knew by Melissa Wolf (Author) 

The New Menopause: Navigating Your Path Through Hormonal Change with Purpose, Power and the Facts by Dr Mary Claire Haver

Period Repair Manual: Natural Treatment for Better Hormones and Better Periods by Lara Briden ND 

Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit by Queen Afua (Author) 

What’s In Your Womb? by Ma’at Maakheru et al.

Is Menstruation Obsolete? by Elsimar M. Coutinho (Author), Sheldon J. Segal (Author)

In the FLO: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionize Your Life //and Womancode: Perfect Your Cycle, Amplify Your Fertility, Supercharge Your Sex Drive and Become a Power Source  , both by Alisa Vitti (Auteur) 

Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick by Maya Dusenbery

Capitalizing on the Curse: The Business of Menstruation by Elizabeth Arveda Kissling

Period tracker + Apps (just a few examples)

Clue : https://helloclue.com 

MyFlo App: https://www.floliving.com/app

App review (including pricing comparison): https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/health/a44015414/period-tracker-apps/

Centers and Organisations (just a few examples)

African Coalition for menstrual health management: https://acmhm.org

Lady Garden: (also provides information around cancer prevention) https://www.ladygardenfoundation.com/resources

Flo : (3.1 billion women are suffering from chronic hormone issues. FLO Living is here to change that.): https://www.floliving.com

HER Centre Australia is dedicated to understanding and treating mental illnesses experienced by women. Our focus is creating interventions and treatments that are tailored to the unique aspects of mental illness through a woman’s lifespan: https://www.monash.edu/medicine/her-centre/home

Period Positive : https://periodpositive.com

Ending note 

It’s imperative that as therapists we don’t collude with the culture of shame or disinterest /misinformation or ignorance by perpetuating the silence around the menstrual cycle in the services we offer. 

In my training in psychotherapy in a somatic (as in body based approach) course; the menstrual cycle never came up once as a study point. Prior to that, I was given no education, at school nor in society, as to how to care for myself throughout this cycle, or the huge and far ranging impacts of this cycle when out of balance. 

Infact, the education that many women received (at the time I was growing up anyway), overt or covertly, is that periods and anything period related are a subject to remain shamed and silenced, unexplored in the shadows of our awareness, not inconveniencing or disgusting anyone else. A whole part of our life, self, being and month, was cloaked with cultural shame and disgust. 

And more importantly, the menstrual cycle and its impacts on physical and mental health is woefully under researched and under-represented. Research links a huge range of mental health issues such as ADHD, BPD, BP, Anxiety, Depression, Suicidality to hormonal fluctuations and imbalances. Yet this research is so slim on the ground, and so under instrumentalized in our approach to mental health that every time I even consider it I am literally astonished. 

The shame and powerlessness girls and women so often experience in relation to their cycle – is cultural not individual. The lack of information around caring for their body and minds as the body does its thing – menstruation and then the menopause – has a significant impact on how women experience themselves inter and intra personally: as a human being in its own right, in their relationships, in the workforce, as athletes and in the home.

This is a call for researchers, mental health practitioners and educators to take seriously this incredibly core and absent factor in Women’s wellness, so that it’s presence, and happy, well women, become a normalized presence within our culture. 

“Am I living the life I want to live? Am I being the sort of person I really want to be?…Imagine looking back over your life. What would make you feel that your life had been worthwhile? What would make you feel that your life had been wasted?” – Timothy Freke 

Maybe imagine that you have all the time, resources, possibility in the world…zero limitations in any area…all the time, all the money, all the opportunity, all the access and connections you want and need, no limitations…(including internal self concept, physical or mental health issues, etc!)…. 

Do not confine yourself to what you consider to be realistic or reasonable…..

Yet also do not confine yourself to what we are socialised to consider success. Maybe instantly we think of all the trappings we associate in our programming with happiness. Yet true happiness comes from dwelling in states of wellness, love and compassion. Let your breath touch and soften your heart and let your heart’s eyes look into this vision.

How would you feel? Who would you be? How would you behave, move, speak, think, feel? What would you be doing? Who would be in your life? What would these relationships and your community feel like? What are your values? Think back to the opening qoute – what gives life value, meaning? What does it feel like to live this deeply? To be the person you want to be and feel you are sharing with others and the world what you want to give. 

Write a vision statement for how this/you :

Looks

Feels (sensations)

Feels (emotions) 

Moves you (posture, movement, behavior)

Communicates 

Etc. 

Draw it, dance it, imagine it, write and talk about it!

Maybe share it with a close friend so you can share a vision and also remind and guide each other.

Refer back to it sometimes to recalibrate. 

Bisous,

Elise

x

BLSL is a process which helps regulate the nervous system through enabling it to find movement and therefore discharge held tensions, stress, trauma and built up emotions.

When practiced regularly it helps us to re-discover and build upon the natural capacity of the nervous system to do this automatically, which can be inhibited through our upbringing, social conditioning and past experiences, as well as current stressors.

Body Low slow loop is a practice devised by John and Anna Chitty…who in turn were informed by trauma researchers, most notably Peter Levine, who… in turn …was informed by the natural world and animals (and how they effectively shake off trauma). A lot of modern day ‘branded’ so called cutting edge and ‘NEW’ treatment approaches have actually been used in many indigenous cultures and spiritual traditions for many centuries. Thank you to all our teachers, animal and human and other, who made this possible 🙂

Generally areas of high intensity, trauma and stress will be found in the areas through which the vagus nerve runs: areas of the face, throat, chest, abdomen and belly. When we move our awareness between an area of high intensity to an area which is neutral, we titrate (a term coined by Peter Levine in his trauma work) our experience. In doing so we learn how to both enter in and out of charged experiences that previously were scary, overwhelming and engulfing.

This means we learn how to bring awareness to the body in a way that not only feels -but is – safer and more supported, structured and helpful, and take steps to regain the natural motility of the nervous system, helping restore its natural function of processing and releasing held charge within the body.

Here is a rather tinny echoey version with a few spring sniffles! I am just getting used to recording technicalities! (I will make a better version soon). You will only need to listen to it a few times until you get the hang of it; then you can guide yourself (and others) without the recording. You can find a written version (with adaptations for those for those without an internal safe place yet too) by clicking on this link: Body Low Slow Loop script.

Side note.

Some people initially may not find an area of safety or neutrality within the body. If this is the case, I would strongly encourage to find support to build this safe/neutral place up as an initial practice. Movement, change and healing comes from a base of safety. However if you still want to do the Body Low Slow Loop exercise and don’t have access to professional support to build a base of safety, you could instead pendulate your awareness by shifting between a (non charged) place in your body to the following:

A) Oscillating the attention between inner and outer: for example, looking around the space and choosing five green or square (etc) items that draw your attention.

B) Through building up a felt or visual resource through practicing a body posture that feels safe and grounded, for example the triumphant victory pose!:

or C)  creating a safe place in one’s imagination to go to.

It is important to remember that entering the body and really being with sensation is something that we have avoided because it did not originally feel safe, or even bare-able/do-able.

Be gentle and kind with yourself.

If you are feeling blocked, see if you can let go of any rigid expectations. Often you will find that they may contain a subtle violence: I should not be stressed, I should be able to do this easily, I shouldn’t get upset or space out. With learning any new practice, we are not just learning the practice, we are practicing how to learn! I hope that learning can be an enjoyable, easy and kind experience for you.

See if you can do this as a daily practice to help the nervous system relearn its fluidity and capacity and strength! John used to say that practicing for 21 days in a row will go a long way in helping reboot your autonomic motility.

Thank you very much for sharing your practice and path with me. Please email me with any questions or feedback,

Warmly,

Elise

SPRING, 2017