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Becoming your ally: Identifying Resources.

 

For the day to day and to keep practitioner costs at a low it is a good idea to create a lifestyle around what resources us in our lives and a tangible action plan to maintain contact with – and build a life directed by that. I know this sounds like stating the obvious but take a moment to make a list of all the people you know who actually live in this way and chances are it might not be that long.

These resources can be feeling states that we can create anchors to, somatic practices, people, places, sensory experiences, service work, causes or teachings that inspire you, animals, the ocean, music, smells like the forest, essential oils, baking, maybe even clean laundry, and so on. Anything that makes you feel more regulated! Each person will be resourced in their own particular way –for someone it could be reading, someone else it could be camping, meditation, wearing a favourite article of clothing or jewellery, rock climbing, baking, or for those resourced by multi-tasking like myself, rock climbing in the bath tub (I wish!).

If we write a list, or draw a drawing of all of these things, it can help communicate to our conscious and unconscious mind what we want to orient to, and build with in our lives. Sometimes when we are struggling, even reading this list –(or creating one) –can help us orient to support in our lives and feel better. We remember things that the trance of depression, shame, unworthiness, fear cut us off from. It’s also an inarguable fall back when you are so low you really believe that the idea your brain has concocted to make you feel better (such as a cigarette butt and dorito smoothie to be luxuriously sipped whilst calling you ex) -might be best avoided- and replaced by one of these tried and true methods!

Into Action

Resources: Do this with a few friends, or work colleagues, or in your own precious and dear sweet company!  To make a list find a comfortable and safe place and bring your awareness into the body and to your breath. Failing that, (sometimes relaxation is hard!), see if you can have compassion for yourself and how hard it is to relax and just make a start anyway! Slowly soften and open your awareness, and with a pad of paper in hand,  create an idea –which you can add to – of what brings you peace, restores you, helps you feel good in your body, relationships and in the world.

Bare in mind that as we travel the terrain of our human experience and our nervous systems, different resources will be appropriate. You might want to think of times when you are really low. Maybe at this time going for a jog feels out of the realm of possibility, so what are things that can slowly move you out of freeze and back into safety and connection? Maybe watching youtube videos of cute baby animals or babies laughing. Or smelling essential oils. Or lying listening to your favourite piece of music with a comforting hand resting on your heart. And when you are feeling super anxious – what helps you down regulate…maybe when you are feeling this way running, jumping, doing housework, etc…Situationally, when you are sitting in traffic and overwhelmed, if all your resources revolve around sports and running, you might be at a loss….. the more we can think of diversifying the list, the better 🙂

A few possible examples follow.

Optimum behaviours/activities, resources:

• Time in nature
• Heart centered breathing
• Making art
• Focussing on a positive state: how that feels in the body and expansing it
• Volunteering at the horse rescue centre
• Receiving a massage
• Spending time with my best friend
• The colours blue and orange
• Being in water
• Listening to music or nature or children playing
• Exercise
• Making a gratitude list and sharing it with a friend
• The smell of oranges
• Dancing

Drains on well being:

We can also create a more comprehensive list, which includes the above list but also helps identify things that that could kind of go either way but may be problematic, and behaviours that we choose to abstain from -to the best of our ability –  in our commitment to health.

For example a few could be:

Middle Circle (things that could be fine but also to keep an eye on as they could lead to a sequence that descends into less than optimal self care strategies) (Please note these will all be very personal so someone’s resource could be another’s downfall!!):

• Stress at work
• Contact with stressful family member or acquaintance
• Working late night shifts or more than six days a week for several weeks in a row
• Over exercising/under exercising
• Eating in front of the TV

Creating this mid zone list is helpful as when we stay in the mid zone for too long, it becomes normalised and we get habituated to it. It’s an okay place to be, but does not facilitate optimum regulation, health, connection. It’s good to have it written down on paper to target the human tendency to habituate and normalise.

Inner Circle (what we have committed to avoid as we know it does not serve our well being):

• Working seven day weeks for a month or more
• Eating a certain food that always causes binges
• Certain addictive substances or processes if these have become problematical.

Sometimes when we have slipped into behaviour and thought patterns that are not conducive to our overall wellbeing it is like slipping in to a spell. We forget that maybe we would prefer not to argue with our spouse all the time, or eat take out (for five) alone on a Friday night, or compulsively watch Netflix or porn. Or that thinking too much in a stressful way about taxes can lead to five bags of potato chips. So this can also be a map to keep nudging us towards behaviours and life practices that make us feel good, and reminding us of the consequences of slippy middle/inner circle states.

Lists are obviously not solutions, but can help pull the prefrontal cortex/conscious/inner parent back on line and give it a road map to follow when it needs to just ‘act as if’ for a time.

A step further in tracking: Going even further, Patrick Carnes has created a PCI –or Personal Craziness Index –funny name right?!  – but useful as a tool for recovery from addiction or habit breaking- found in A gentle Path through the Twelve steps and quoted below.

Personal Chaos Index[1]

The Personal Chaos Index [PCI] is a tool to assist you to stay on track and maintain the changes you have made. It is designed to help you recognize those times when you are more vulnerable to slipping back into old habits. Each person uses the PCI to generate behavioral signs that are warnings that you are “loosing it”, slipping back to old habits or becoming “burnt out”.

Following are 10 areas of personal behavior. As you write down answers to the questions in each of these areas, the answers may help you to identify warning signs. When you know the warning signs you will be more capable of taking action to do things differently.

1. Physical Health: The ultimate insanity is to not take care of our bodies. Without our bodies we have nothing, yet we seem to have little time for physical conditioning. Examples are being over a certain weight, having missed regular exercise for two days, smoking, being exhausted from lack of sleep. How do you know that you are not taking care of your body? [at least 3 examples.]

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2. Transportation: How people get from place to place is often a statement about their lifestyles. Take for example, a car owner who seldom comes to a full stop, routinely exceeds the speed limit, runs out of gas, does not check the oil, puts off needed repairs, has not cleaned the back seat out in three months and averages three speeding tickets and ten parking tickets per year. Or the bus rider who always misses the bus, never has change, forgets his or her briefcase on the bus etc. What are the transportation behaviors that indicate you life is getting out of control? [at least 3 examples.]

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3. Environment: To not have time to do your personal chores is a comment on the order of your life. Consider the home in which the plants go unwatered, fish unfed, grocery supplies depleted, laundry not done or put away, cleaning neglected, dishes unwashed etc. What are ways in which you neglect your home or living space? [at least 3 examples.]

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4. Work: Chaos at work may place your ability to support yourself in jeopardy. Signs of chaotic behavior are phone calls not returned, chronic lateness for appointments, being behind in promised work, and unmanageable in-basket, and “too many irons in the fire”. When your life is unmanageable at work what are your behaviors? [at least 3 examples.]

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5. Interests: What are some positive interests besides work that give you perspective on the world? Music, reading, photography, fishing or gardening are examples. What are you doing when you are not over extended? [at least 3 examples.]

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6. Social Life: Think of friends in your social network who provide support to you and are not family or significant others. When you become isolated, alienated, or disconnected, what behaviors are typical of you? [at least 3 examples.]

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7. Family/Significant Others: When you are disconnected from those closest to you, what is your behavior like? Examples are silent, overtly hostile, passive-aggressive. [at least 3 examples.]

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8. Finances: We handle our financial resources much like our personal ones. Thus when your chequing account is unbalanced, or overdrawn or bill overdue or there is no cash in your pocket or you are spending more than you earn, your financial overextension may parallel your emotional bankruptcy. List the signs that show when you are overextended. [at least 3 examples.]

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9. Spiritual Life and Personal Reflection: Spirituality can be diverse and include meditation, yoga and prayer. Personal reflection includes journal writing, completing daily readings and pursuing therapy. What are sources of routine personal reflection that are neglected when you are overextended? [at least 3 examples.]

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10. Symptom Behaviors: Compulsive behaviors that have negative consequences are symptomatic of your general well-being or a warning sign that you may be slipping into old habits. When you watch too much TV, overeat, bite your nails – any habit you feel bad about afterward – these can be warning signs. Symptom behaviors are behaviors that are evidence of overextension, such as forgetfulness, slips of the tongue, or jealousy. What symptom behaviors do you notice when you are feeling overwhelmed? [at least 3 examples.]

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From the thirty or more signs of personal craziness you recorded, choose the seven that are most critical for you. At the end of each day, review the list of seven key signs and count the ones you did that day, giving each behavior one point Record your total for that day in the space provided on the chart. If you fail to record the number of points for each day, that day receives an automatic score of 7. (If you cannot even do your score, you are obviously out of balance.) At the end of each week, total your seven daily scores and make an X on graph. Pause and reflect on where you are in your recovery. Chart your progress over a twelve-week period.[1] Adapted from Carnes, P, [2005]. Facing the Shadow. Carefree, Az., Gentle Path Press.

So…to wrap up -take what you like and leave the rest- start simple -and expand if it feels right.

With love,

Elise

x

The research of Stephen Porges, PhD has re-envisioned the conventional notion of the two branch ANS (“fight/flight” vs. “rest/rebuild”) and replaced it with a new concept, the “Polyvagal Theory”. Based on his findings, he named a new branch of the ANS (hence the term ‘poly’-vagal), which he has called the Social Nervous system, made up of a bunch of cranial nerves: nerves than innervate the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, face and hands.

These nerves bring us information about our experience and the world around us: they facilitate our sight, hearing, and sensory recognition and experience of taste, touch and smell and are hugely impacted by sensory and social interaction. All of the Cranial Nerves play roles in the Social NS, but the primary nerves of the Social NS are the Vagus, Trigeminal, Facial and Glossopharyngeal nerves.

These nerves (SNS), orient to and are influenced by social interaction and can regulate and control the ANS. In a certain way the SNS comes out trumps in NS hierarchy and so, in its possibility of regulating the ANS, offers the quickest pathway back to well being.

This new understanding has profound implications for healthcare, as well as relationships, sports, yoga and meditation, education, the workplace, social and environmental justice movements, and other areas of life. (Are you as excited about this as these fellows?!):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCCNv3P7jUs

To contextulaise this theory and its implications further, I will use a brief summary from John Chitty, director of CSES and an advocate of Steven Porges’ work:

“ 1. The autonomic nervous system is the foundation of health and wellness, regulating neurochemistry, the immune system and most behavior. As osteopathic teacher Dr. James Jealous has stated, “80% or more of all medical conditions are ANS events.”
2. Unlike the 100-year-old model that is taught in today’s textbooks and classrooms, the ANS has three branches instead of two, and the branches are sequential instead of purely reciprocal. Today’s prevailing idea also perpetuates a significant logic/differentiation error that negatively affects therapeutic theories and applications.
3. The newly-discovered third branch is the Social Nervous System, which regulates the evolutionarily older Sympathetic (properly called “Orthosympathetic”) and oldest Parasympathetic branches. The Social branch meets the technical criteria for inclusion in the ANS.
4. Understanding the ANS fully is a true revolution in health care, with enormous implications for medicine, psychology, birthing practices, early childhood care and education of all ages. In addition, the Polyvagal Theory provides important anatomical and physiological information for much more effective treatment of trauma.”

John Chitty, 2015.

Much of this new information is very intuitive -people have been using their Social Nervous Systems to regulate self, other and community for as long as we have been on the planet- (everyone instinctually knows the healing power of feeling listened to, a warm smile, kind touch, laughing with a friend, safe and reassuring eye contact, compassionate acknowledgement and so on). Yet it has only been in the last 10-15 years that science has identified the importance of this group of nerves that help us feel acknowledged, loved, contacted, met, bonded, secure and support the regulation of the ANS.

So…how does this research impact you and your community?

This more accurate understanding of the nervous system is key in many ways – the more that we can understand and know someone or something, the better positioned we are to relate well with it and treat it in a way to help it thrive –whether that is our garden, a plant, pet, our friend or child, our mind or our nervous systems!

And this is true both on an individual level, but also in our communities and societal structures. For instance, this research can be supportive to changes in the health care system with more attention paid to relationship and the health and healing of the nervous system in physical and mental health conditions, in the educational system, inspiring programs such as roots of empathy which is showing great results: http://www.rootsofempathy.org ; and so on.

Dr. Stephen Porges and some other researchers have recognised that the social nervous system helps us regulate our autonomic (or automatic) nervous system, especially to assist the ANS to discharge any sense of threat, danger or stress that we feel. “In fact, this Social Nervous System is probably our most elegant and efficient means of relieving stress” (Gary Peterson, 2012). Our nervous systems thrive through safe relationality – something that we have lost in our fast paced culture with it’s disconnect from nature, our bodies and experience (tired- have a coffee, sad –have a drink, lonely –go buy something), friends and family and the community we live in. Its hard to relate when you are driving by at 60 miles an hour – glued to your phone  – find most of your social contact online  – overtaxed by work – and so on. Even though this is relatively straightforward understanding, scientific facts backing common sense can be supportive in such a stubborn culture resistant to prioritizing inner abundance, peace and connection at the expense of materialism, ‘progress’ and power.

Still interested about poly vagal theory and nervous system regulation? Find out more here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUsf26dlqfPbVHld2bC9cn9w&v=K_E7MHn00Tc

John and Anna Chitty are huge advocates of this work and provide resources on their website.

Articles:

The 2-page summary offers a basic overview of the theory and Chapter 6 of John Chitty’s Dancing with Yin and Yang tells the story in popular language. We offer the entire chapter here for free. Of course, more info can be acquired by reading the whole book, which includes numerous applications in other chapters.

The Autonomic Nervous System & Polyvagal Theory (Chapter 6 in Dancing with Yin and Yang)

http://energyschool.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Dancing-with-Yin-Yang-Autonomic-Chapter6.pdf

Videos:

Several versions have been created, short summaries for beginners and longer versions for advanced students.

Autonomic Insights for Babies and Mothers (Webinar for APPAH)
Babies & The Polyvagal Theory Video Interview with Diane Heller
Stephen Porges and the Polyvagal Theory (Webinar for Diane Heller’s Attachment Mastery program)

So now you have learnt some about the nervous system! –now what?

Knowing this information, you are perhaps encouraged to support yourself and others better as you navigate the world. Small things, like planning enough time so you can relate with the scenery and people you pass through on your day where possible. Knowing that giving or receiving a kind word, eye contact or gesture can restore someone to a sense of well being can give a different focus to standing in line at the grocery store. How many others ways can you integrate this?

Here are some more starting points….Make it a point to identify some favourites below and practice them daily if you are not already doing so!

1). Nervous System First Aid: Body-Low-Slow-Loop (for Clients)

Developed by John and Anna Chitty – and based on the work of Steven Levine and other trauma research -The Body-Low-Slow-Loop is a safe and effective way to gently reduce autonomic nervous system dysfunction, particularly the sympathetic stress response known as fight or flight. A complete description of the whole practice can be found on page A complete description of the whole practice can be found on page 187 in the new book, Dancing with Yin and Yang

http://energyschool.com/resources/podcasts/body-low-slow-loop/

2).Heart centered service oriented work and relationality with others –listening to them, attending to their needs, being honest with ourselves and others, developing relationship and true intilacy and connection in real time, real world intercations, whilst staying also in contact with ourselves.

3).Mindfulness based somatic practices –relating to your body and sensations with kindness and appreciation

4).Laughing with friends 🙂 Doctor’s orders!

5).Safe physical contact

6).Making warm eye contact

7).Listening to soothing voices and song

8).Offering kind words spoken in a soothing tone and pace!

9). Slowing down to feel relationship (alot of us experience realtionship in our heads, not as a whole person expereince)

10).Dropping in and becoming present for yourself and for others

11).Caring for another being: plant, animal, person

12).Relating with animals and nature (especially helpful for those with relational trauma).

13). Grooming horses! (No prizes for guessing who likes this one !)

14). Looking at people and animals sharing smiles, hugs, and nurturing touch.

15). Appreciating others

16). Giving a hug or asking for a hug from a loved one when one of you is having a tough day

17). Watching funny movies that also display healthy relational situations or baby videos on youtube!

This is a list to get started but build on it in your own unique way and practice it in your daily life –sharing warmth and connectivity in the world –restoring health and balance.

Warm wishes,

Elise

October 2017

For individuals and small groups I offer the following resources. Each link will take you to a page with more information concerning individual services.

Equine Facilitated Therapy

Somatic Psychotherapy

Yoga

Group Clinics: Addiction and Eating Disorder Recovery Clinic & Pain Management Clinic

Workshops, gatherings and skills classes (ranging from herbalism to embodied movement, sensuality, play, psycho-education and eco-therapy groups).

The 2018 Recovery Focussed Craniosacral Therapy Research Clinic is running two programs, with the hope for future expansion in 2019. We are currently running two programs that provide a mix of one to one and group support, as well as at home practice to help support people with disordered eating and addictive tendencies, and to help heal the underlying sources of physical pain. Both offer group support sessions and educational sessions, as well as individual BCST sessions, and on going contact and resources from me.

For more information on the clinics please click on the following links:

• Pain Clinic
• Addiction Recovery and Support Clinic

 

I have explored my current understanding of the parallels between BCST and the 12 Step Process of Recovery from addiction in the paper below.

Please contribute and message me with your ideas and feedback!

BCST-and-the-12-steps.- (1)BCST-and-the-12-steps.-1 (2)