As both practitioners and clients, an over rigid goal of ‘healing’ can obstruct a deep experience of health. Whilst motivated through fear into controlling or avoiding pain, limitation or suffering we may be driven to a very disciplined healing regimen: strict diet, daily practice of meditation and prayer, sourcing of therapists of a variety of modalities. On the surface it can look excellent, but inside we might not be getting the results that we would like. When fear driven, there will always be an element of rigidity and control, and a disconnection from really being with the self, that will prohibit a deeper opening and blossoming of the individual, and block us from a feeling of ease within our circumstances: whether they are painful or not.
I believe that true healing lies more in learning, growing, practicing and developing acceptance and compassion for all we experience rather than clinging to a perfect notion or fantasy of health that will protect us from suffering. In leaning in to discomfort and being ok with pain, discomfort, grief, heart ache, injury we can find freedom. We can deprive ourselves of the huge learning opportunity to develop compassion, surrender, humility and acceptance by fixating on getting rid of the condition through which life elicits and teaches these qualities.
In effect, in our quest for healing, we perpetuate the disconnect that might have contributed to the physical imbalance or dis-ease. We abandon ourselves to attain health. Surrendering to and acceptance where we are right now, especially if that is with sickness, limitations and handicaps is a hard and painful process. But resisting what and where we are and what life is is far more painful, gradually closing our hearts and cutting off our connection to the present moment, ourselves and each other, and making our pain unbearable.
We can get so attached to our idea of who we are and how we want to operate in the world and what we want to experience (socially, vocationally, etc), that often the body or mind, manifesting with symptoms that do not support our vision or ideas, are turned upon with aggression when they do not conform. Making our salvation an external that we have no control over: the physical body, rather than the internal, which we can learn to control: acceptance and presence in the face of all we meet; creates fear, suffering and disconnect. Even when we are healthy and well there is an element of fear: we know what is keeping our equilibrium is impermanent and subject to change and chance, and therefore not a stable foundation to build happiness, peace or security upon.
When we have made our salvation into health – rather than a reverence for the greater intelligence underlying all things- we can easily fall pray to the idea that we know what we need and what would make us happy. In a sense we can operate unconsciously as mini gods or dictators wilfully attempting to control reality –ourselves –others –our bodies – past future, ad infinitum. Or, we can relax and let go, receive with gratitude and learn. One position is fear based and creates suffering through its fixation on avoidance of suffering. And one is grounded in connection and reality based, and has more openness, possibility and kindness inherent within it: it allows us to experience and dance with life: to relate to life: to love life, to love ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.
Please reach out to me with any comments or questions,